breaking out from the pack

Last week I was bombarded with emails from the alumni office at my alma mater, NYU.  It was time to donate money again.  I was ignoring the emails until one arrived that I just had to open.  It was from a girl who had grown up in a traditional community in India - much the same as my experience growing up in a traditional jewish family in NY.  Both her parents were educated, and it was certainly her mother's hope that she would be able to pursue an "intellectual life" but not so encouraged to do so. OK, it was slightly different for me as my mom and dad made it pretty clear that I was going to college - but at the time, I did not have the role models around me that would support that effort.   This woman made it to NYU and was only able to graduate with the help of the donations from people like me (well, probably people who give far more money than me, since I still think of the joke my dad made about writing his checks to NYU Inc.)

But what got me thinking was not so much about education but this:

"I never could have arrived at NYU without my mother’s sacrifices. She was determined that I should develop into the person I’m supposed to be, not the one society tells me to be."  

That is how I feel too because as amazing as it is that girls today can walk around feeling like the way

Lena Dunham feels, particularly about their bodies - it is only recently that we have seen the positive changes from that, and still - it is not enough. Our girls are told that their "thighs are too thick" and those same mean girls think nothing about trying to make our girls feel badly about how they look or feel during the awkward signs of puberty, like body odor, hair on their legs...so this letter moved me.  It resonated for me.  Because it was not that long ago when my mom insisted that I shave my underarms on my wedding day.  ok, maybe she was right, it just plain looked better - but still, we can do better.  And I know that my sacrifices are not the end of the story and the same with my daughters, but it is a mission, that I feel is worth being part of.